Nov 13

Nov 13 The best ways to embrace and manage change

Change can be simultaneously unsteadying and uncertain as well as exciting and positive

I’ve recently taken on a new challenge which will bring a chunk of change and a lot more work my way. It’s something I volunteered to do and something which I believe in passionately (which really makes me hope I can do it well). But it’s also something that will shake up the mostly comfortably predictable rhythm of my days and activities in ways that will be significant. A commitment that brings with it probably the most notable moment of change in my life since I left full time work.

Change is a weird thing, isn’t it?

You can be cruising along, with everything feeling familiar and predictable and then, either by choice or circumstance, it feels as if you’ve been tossed into, at the very least, a lumpy sea, sometimes a stormy one. Of course we know in our heads that change is something that happens all the time, for the good and bad, and that in essence it’s the thing that keeps life interesting, helps us grow and pushes us on toward the next version of ourselves (something that should ideally also be changing with time). The tricky bit is learning how to ride the change waves without feeling completely tossed around and a bit all at sea.

Like anyone else who’s reached this age, I’ve faced many changes in my life, some more difficult and life-altering than others. Here’s what I’ve learnt about navigating change along the way.

1. Admit it’s hard. Because it is

There’s no prize for pretending everything’s fine when you’re quietly freaking out inside. Change — even the good kind — can be unsettling. It messes with our sense of control and comfort. So it’s important not just to give yourself permission to feel the wobble but also to say out loud, “This is a lot right now.” Because it is, and that’s okay. Acknowledging your discomfort is the first step in easing it. And a great way for people to be able to step in and help/support you. Which they absolutely will if you give them the chance.

2. Remind yourself that uncertainty doesn’t mean disaster

Our brains love predictability. When routines shift, it triggers them to alert us to danger. But uncertainty doesn’t automatically mean something bad is coming — it just means you’re stepping into the unknown. And in that unknown can lie possibility, growth and new learnings. Keep remembering that some of the best things in life start when you can’t see what’s next.

3. Anchor yourself with small routines

When big things are changing, it helps to keep a few regular things steady. A morning cuppa in your favourite mug. Sticking to your exercise routine, whatever that looks like. Spending time with the people you love. Those rituals are emotional anchors — reminders that while some things are shifting, not everything is. They give your busy brain a sense of normalcy and stability to hold onto.

4. Focus on what you can control

There’s no point trying to stop the waves, but you can absolutely decide how you’ll surf them. You might not be able to control why the the change has happened (or, like me right now, you might have invited it in), but you can control your response — how you care for yourself, what you focus on, who you lean on. Ask yourself: What’s one thing I can do today that helps me feel grounded or prepared? Then do that.

5. Stay curious

Curiosity is a secret superpower when it comes to managing change. Instead of spiralling into “What if this all goes wrong?” (pretty much my personal default), try shifting to “I wonder what could come from this?” You’ll find it opens the door to excitement instead of fear. Think of it as swapping dread for discovery.

6. Look back at your track record

You’ve faced change before — maybe not this exact kind, but something that at the time felt big and scary. And guess what? You handled it. You adjusted, you learned, and you found your footing again. Remind yourself: you’ve got evidence that you can do this.

Change can bring with it good surprises as well as challenges. Finding your balance will help you cope.

7. Allow room for good surprises

Change doesn’t just take things away — it opens up the possibility for something new in return. A new perspective. A deeper resilience. A connection you didn’t expect. Sometimes, what feels like chaos is just life rearranging things so you can grow in a direction you wouldn’t have chosen, but might end up really enjoying and/or learning from.

8. Give it time

Adapting doesn’t happen overnight. It’s okay to have messy days, hopeful days, and everything in between. Things will settle and given time (often sooner than you think) what feels uncertain now will become your new normal. When that happens, you’ll realise you didn’t just survive the change — you were reshaped by it, in a good way.

Here’s the bottom line

Change can unquestionably be uncomfortable and unsettling, but it’s also where so many of the best new things begin. You’re absolutely allowed to be scared and hopeful at the same time. To be anxious about what’s ending while still staying open to what’s next. And remember, there are always people around you who can help you through even (and especially) the hardest times of change.

So take a deep breath. You’ve got this.